Doubting Thomas

As a reflection piece for this Sunday’s Gospel reading, I present this song: Doubting Thomas. (found here, but you really need to get the whole album.)

Featuring Jennifer Gaddie on harmony vocals and Joy McCurley (soon to be Montag, as I understand.) on recorder. I can’t recall if it’s Rick Smith on percussion of if that’s me attempting to be a percussionist, but you can hear him on other songs for certain.

You know, as I read various Catholic blogs and the comments put out there I am always amazed that we have to keep answering the same questions, objections and doubts over and over again. The so-called “new atheists” are really just the regurgitators of all the old silliness. St. Thomas is really THE patron saint of our age. We’ve put so much faith in “science” that we forget the great many things that cannot be quantified, measured and dissected. We tend to think that if it’s outside our own personal range of experience it must not be real. We are all doubting Thomases. The difference, I think, is that today we fill our ears, hearts, and minds up with so much noise, so much junk that we cannot hear the Lord call our name. We cover our eyes with so much distraction we cannot see the Lord acting in our lives.

Thomas said if I don’t see Him, I won’t believe, just like so many of today’s objectors. Kind of a “who ya gonna believe, me or your own lyin’ eyes?” mentality. The trouble is, our eyes do lie to us. Ever see a magician? It sure looks like that card disappears, doesn’t it? It sure appears that the lady is sawn in two, right? Our eyes, all our senses, can and will fool us. Contrary to what the jedi might say, we cannot and should not fully trust our feelings. Our fallen human nature WILL lead us astray time and time again.

I, myself, do wish that God might make Himself manifest to me in ways I can easily understand and accept. I struggle to see His grace and miracles and influence in my life. More often than not I fail completely in my search for God. Often I teeter on that thin line bordering despair and want more than anything to be able to just quit, throw up my arms and scream forget it, I’m through! Trying to learn and live the Catholic Christian faith is HARD! It would be so much easier to just float along on the currents of the culture and not worry where it is leading us. Much as it would be easier to balance my checkbook without all that mean, nasty math-stuff demeaning my bank account and hurting my poor feelings with its ideas of objective truth.

However… I DO believe. And though I will fall and I will fail, I have to try to live according to the Truth. St. Thomas, pray for me… St. Thomas pray for us all.

DOUBTING THOMAS                       (Tefft)

1)             I was never that special, just an ordinary man. / Never thought I would have a place within God’s special plan. / I never really thought much about it, just lived life day to day. / And when He told me to follow Him, I didn’t know what to say.

 2)             Yes, I was His disciple, followed Him wherever He led. / But I just could not understand all the stories that He said. / Still, I tried to catch on to what His life was all about. / But I couldn’t get my belief to replace everything I’d doubt.

 chorus:                   I believed just what I could see / Just the few things I could touch. / To me it never really seemed that odd. / Then He came and He spoke my name / And dissolved my mental crutch. / Now, His name forever I proclaim… / My Lord and my God!

 3)             I’d watched Him performing miracles, heal the sick, raise the dead. / But it just couldn’t touch my heart, got all caught up in my head. / Then, the day that He died, they hung His body on the cross. / I forgot all that He had told us, couldn’t see past the loss.

 4)             I know what history says about me, how you remember my name. / I know the things that I said and did only added to my shame. / But I was there with the others, saw Him ascending high above. / And I know I’ll be with Him once again, because of His love.

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